From Pain to Peace - A coaching case study

When Pain Comes from a Story the Body Is Carrying

This weekend, I worked with a client who has lived with chronic pain for most of her life.

Every month, her periods brought intense pain, cramping, mood swings, and an overwhelming urge to withdraw. She wanted to shut herself away in her bedroom and be left alone until it passed.

Over time, this pattern had begun to affect every part of her life: her relationships, her work, and her overall quality of life.

Because she had worked with me before, she was familiar with the CRASH framework I use to explore how the mind and body are responding under stress.

The first thing she noticed was physical contraction. Her whole body was bracing against the pain. There was tension in her shoulders, her abdomen, and her lower back — but beyond that, a sense that her entire system was tight, guarded, and on high alert.

She also recognised how reactive she had become.

She was snappy with her partner, short-tempered with her family, and intensely sensitive to sound. Ordinary noises — especially the sound of people eating or drinking — felt unbearable. It was as though the sounds were inside her head, provoking rage even in anticipation.

This reactivity followed her into the workplace too.

She could manage the pain until mid-afternoon, when it intensified and her ability to mask the impact of it began to fade. She found herself curt with colleagues, and particularly triggered by a co-worker she perceived as not pulling their weight. Behaviour she might once have tolerated now felt deeply unjust. Feelings of rage and sensitivity to unfairness rose quickly, and she raised concerns with management.

Alongside all of this was withdrawal.

She didn’t want support. She didn’t want care. It was almost as though she felt she didn’t deserve to be looked after — or couldn’t tolerate kindness when she felt this unwell.

And while being hostile towards others is painful enough, this client was also being deeply hostile towards herself.

As we explored further, she recognised a belief she had been carrying for years: that she somehow deserved the pain. This belief was tied to a decision she had made in the past, a decision she was no longer sure had been right. She felt trapped by it, having told others and not wanting to appear as though she was backing down or changing her mind.

When I asked what she felt her body was trying to tell her, she knew immediately.

Naming the story she had been holding inside brought visible relief. It was the first time she had said it out loud.

She was ready to let go of the story, and of the damage it was doing, but she didn’t yet know how.

We then moved into a gentle, hypnotic process known as Core Transformation. In this deeply relaxed state, we work with the subconscious to explore the part of you that is generating a feeling or behaviour you didn’t consciously choose, but are living with nonetheless.

It’s a compassionate conversation between me, your conscious mind, and your subconscious, with safety, care, and curiosity at its heart.

As she relaxed more deeply, she was able to connect with the part of her that was creating the pain and ask it what it wanted. Several layers of answers emerged, until eventually the deepest desire became clear.

What it wanted was peace.

We invited her to fully experience that feeling, to let peace spread through her body, and then asked that part how old it was.

It was very young, only four years old.

When we asked whether it wanted to grow up, it said yes. And so we supported that part to grow, gently and safely, until it was the same age as she was now.

At that point, the part was able to move from her abdomen into her heart, integrating fully so it no longer felt separate or in conflict with her.

My client became emotional, releasing fear, pain, and regret connected to past decisions. She left knowing something important: she is allowed to change her mind. And she no longer needs pain to carry that story for her.

Now, when she experiences physical pain, she knows how to drop into the feeling of peace and be with it, rather than fighting it, suppressing it, or forcing herself to push through.

Gentle, compassionate parts work like this can be incredibly powerful when you feel internally divided. When you find yourself thinking, “Part of me wants to change, and part of me wants to stay the same.”

When all parts of you begin to move in the same direction, life often feels lighter, less conflicted and less exhausting.

If a feeling or behaviour is getting in the way of your happiness or contributing to anxiety or distress, you don’t have to navigate it alone.

Get in touch, and we can have a conversation about what support might help you.